60 Anchorman quotes from the hit comedy

Our latest collection of Anchorman quotes from the 2004 American satirical comedy film directed by Adam McKay. Enjoy!

Best Anchorman Quotes

1. “I’m kind of a big deal. People know me.” – Ron Burgundy

2. “I’m in a glass case of emotion.” – Ron Burgundy

3. “Go fuck yourself San Diego.” – Ron Burgundy

4. “They’ve done studies you know. Sixty percent of the time it works every time.” – Brian Fantana

5. “It is anchorman, not anchor lady! And that is a scientific fact!” – Champ Kind

6. “I wanna say something. I’m gonna put this out there: if you like it, you can take it. If you don’t, send it right back … I want to be ON you.” – Ron Burgundy

7. “Well, I could be wrong, but I believe, uh, diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era.” – Ron Burgundy

8. “Oh, Ron, there are literally thousands of men that I should be with instead, but I am 72 percent sure that I love you!” – Veronica Corningstone

9. “You Stay Classy, San Diego.” – Ron Burgundy

10. “The Human Torch was denied a bank loan.” – Ron Burgundy

11. “Knights of Columbus, that hurt!” – Ron Burgundy

12. “By the Hammer of Thor!” – Ron Burgundy

13. “I am gonna straight-up murder your ass!” – Frank Vitchard

14. “I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker.” – Ron Burgundy

Funny Anchorman Quotes

15. “Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means ‘a whale’s vagina’.” – Ron Burgundy

16. “I love scotch. Scotchy scotch scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly.” – Ron Burgundy

17. “It’s so damn hot… milk was a bad choice.” – Ron Burgundy

18. “Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast.” – Ron Burgundy

19. “Where’d you get those clothes? The toilet store?” – Brick Tamland

20. “We need you. Hell, I need you. I’m a mess without you. I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you. I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. I miss your scent. I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together.” – Champ Kind

21. “Okay, before we start, let’s go over the ground rules. No touching of the hair or face. And that’s it. Now, fight!” – Ron Burgundy

22. “Mmmmm… I look good. I mean really good. Hey everyone! Come and see how good I look!” – Ron Burgundy

23. “The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show [kisses his biceps] and see if she likes the goods.” – Ron Burgundy

24. “I’m sorry Veronica… we’ve had this discussion before. I’m not going to let you be the anchor.” – Ed Harken

Veronica Corningstone: Listen, there’s three things I’m good at fighting, screwing, and reading the news. I’ve already done one of those things today, and I’m about to do one more. Which is it gonna be?

Ed Harken: Screwing?”

25. “Are you trying to tell me that there’s a party in your pants and that I’m invited?” – Veronica Corningstone

26. “Can you please give me your name Mr. Head, and please don’t tell me it’s Dick!” – Dr. Rydell

27. Dr. Rydell: “I’m going to need you to retard your anger.”

Dave: “It’s retarded. I’m retarded.”

28. “I’m going to do the thing that God put Rod Burgundy on this Earth to do: Have salon-quality hair and read the news.” – Ron Burgundy

29. “When you’ve got an ass like the North Star, wise men are going to follow it.” – Ron Burgundy

More Anchorman Quotes

30. Brick Tamland: “Yeah… I stabbed a man in the heart.”

Ron Burgundy: “I saw that! Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?”

Brick Tamland: “Yeah there were horses and a man on fire and I killed a guy with a trident.”

Ron Burgundy: “Brick I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safe house or a relative close by. Lay low for a while because you’re probably wanted for murder.”

31. Garth Holiday: “Ron why did you say that? Why? Why Ron? Why? You were my hero Ron!!!”

Ron Burgundy: “Garth. . . I.”

Garth Holiday: “And you come out and. . . Stink like that. . . Poop. . . your poop mouth. . . you have a poop out of your mouth!!!!”

Ron Burgundy: “Garth, If I were to give you some money out of my wallet, would that ease the pain?”

Garth Holiday: “I hate you Ron Burgundy!!! I hate you!!!!!!!!”

32. Brick Tamland: “I love, carpet. I love, desk.”

Ron Burgundy: “Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying you love them?”

Brick Tamland: “I love, lamp.”

Ron Burgundy: “Do you really love the lamp or are you just saying it because you saw it?”

Brick Tamland: “I love lamp, I love lamp.”

33. Veronica Corningstone: “Mr. Burgundy, you have a massive erection.”

Ron Burgundy: “Really? Yes, I do… It’s actually an optical illusion. It’s the pattern on the pants that is flattering for the crochal region. I’m actually taking them back right now… Taking them back to the pants store. Well, this is awkward. I will see you later?” (walks away) “Nothing to look at. Don’t act like you’re not impressed.”

34. “Who the hell is Julius Caesar? You know I don’t follow the NBA.” – Ron Burgundy

35. “Oh my God, he’s absolutely magnificent. I bet his poop smells like sandalwood.” – Ron Burgundy

36. “Well, now we know, guys – you can’t smoke crack on live television.” – Ron Burgundy

37. “You realize you are talking to a man who just this morning tried to brush his teeth with a live lobster?” – Ron Burgundy

38. Ron Burgundy: “A black man follows me when it’s sunny.”

Brick Tamland: “That’s your shadow.”

39. “Is that a Minotaur?” – Brian

40. “Who cares that’s Stonewall Jackson ghost.” – Ron Burgundy

Anchorman quotes and lines

41. “If you want to throw down in fisticuffs, fine, I’ve got Jack Johnson and Tom O’Leary waitin’ for ya…right here!” – Brick Tamland

42. “I hear that their periods attract bears. the bears can smell the menstruation.” – Brick Tamland

43. “Why don’t you go back to your home on whore island?” – Ron Burgundy

44. “You know how to cut to the core of me, Baxter. You’re so wise. You’re like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair.”

45. “It’s a formidable scent… It stings the nostrils. In a good way… Brian, I’m gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.”

46. “I’m a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That’s what kind of man I am. You’re just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It’s science.”

47. “It is terrible. She has beautiful eyes and her hair smells like Cinnamon.”

48. “I will smash your face into a car windshield, and then take your mother, Dorothy Mantooth, out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again.”

49. “Come again? You know I don’t speak Spanish. In English, please. What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole… wheel of cheese? How’d you do that? I’m not even mad, that’s amazing.” – Ron Burgundy

50. “I’m proud of you fellas. You all kept your head on a swivel, and that’s what you gotta do when you find yourself thrust into the middle of vicious cockfight.” – Ron Burgundy

Anchorman cologne and Sex Panther quote

Brian Fantana: “No, she gets a special cologne… It’s called Sex Panther by Odeon. It’s illegal in nine countries… Yep, it’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good.”
Ron Burgundy: “It’s quite pungent.”
Brian Fantana: “Oh yeah.”

Anchorman quotes when you want a good laugh

51. “I don’t know what we’re yelling about.” – Brick Tamland

52. “Hey aqualung!” – Ron Burgundy

53. “Sorry Champ, I think I ate your chocolate squirrel.” – Brick Tamland

54. “It’s a formidable scent. It stings the nostrils. In a good way. Brian, I’m gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.” – Ron Burgundy

55. “Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair.” – Ron Burgundy

56. “Ohh, it’s the deep burn. Oh, it’s so deep. Oh, I can barely lift my right arm ’cause I did so many. I don’t know if you heard me counting. I did over a thousand.” – Ron Burgundy

57. “I will smash your face into a car windshield, then take your mother, Dorothy Mantooth, out for a delicious seafood dinner and then never call her again!” – Champ Kind

58. “This is embarrassing. I’m totally unprepared.” – Ron Burgundy

59. “I know what you’re wondering, and the answer is yes, I do have a nickname for my p*n*s. It’s called ‘The Octagon.” – Brian Fantana

60. “I’m very aroused.” – Ron Burgundy

Did you enjoy these Anchorman quotes?

Which of these Anchorman quotes and lines is your favorite? Do you have any other interesting quotes to add? Let us know in the comment section below.